Am I failing already?

Habits are hard to stick with and life throws curveballs

I came here to write. I came here for accountability. I wrote for two weeks then stopped again. Am I failing already?

Am I wrong to give myself structure? Or am I judging myself too harshly?

Truth be told, I had started a piece about the messiness of a car accident getting thrown in the mix of my life. Then I got distracted and looking back over it, I wondered why anyone would care.

But honestly, nobody needs to deal with the aftermath of a car accident: the insurance adjusters, the injuries, the anxiety every time a car is pulling out from the right. It’s all extra headache when I’m already feeling exhausted and burnt out.

Then I judge myself for being a big whiner because I’m ok, my injuries are mild, and I’m not really all that busy. So why do I feel tired and burnt out? Why do simple adult tasks feel like such a chore? Is it the grief?

Unfortunately, I think life gets messy no matter who you are. I’m not sure we can escape it. Sometimes life throws you curve balls and no matter how hard you try to prepare for them (hello anxious brain), they still blindside you.

If you too are in the messy middle, I’m sorry. Maybe it helps to know you aren’t alone. Maybe it just sucks. It’s ok either way. The world may want us to put on our rose colored glasses, but sometimes you just gotta wallow in the mud. Let’s just agree to not get stuck there, shall we?