My love of Heartstopper
why stories matter
In my head I sound like a broken record as I repeat this over and over: stories matter. It’s easy in this mess of a world to think that they don’t. How can my little story about a bench matter when people are dying in wars? How can sharing about missing my dad matter when authoritarianism is on the rise? How can I sit down and read Twilight (don't judge) for the umpteenth time when our climate is changing for the worse?
I believe these stories matter because they point us to common humanity, hope, and our imaginations, all things necessary for ushering in the changes we long for. I’ve also said this before - we can’t build something new if we can’t imagine it.
We need stories to point us to what’s possible.
I recently binged watched Heartstopper on Netflix when my husband was out of town. Then, I read all of the graphic novels. Now I’m part way through Solitaire, the novel Heartstopper creator, Alice Oseman, wrote when she was 17 where the main Heartstopper characters first appeared. At first I was puzzled as to why I loved this story and these characters so much. Sure, I am a sucker for a good love story, but this story has stuck with me in a way others I’ve loved haven’t. I can’t stop thinking about it.
For those who are unfamiliar with Heartstopper and the Osemanverse, the show follows the story of the friendship turned love of an openly gay boy (Charlie) and a seemingly straight boy who discovers he is bisexual (Nick). Beside Nick and Charlie are a diverse set of friends (many also queer) who are loyal and supportive and have stories of their own. It is a sweet story of hope, possibility, and queer joy.
In a world of uncertainty, violence, and oppression I desperately need hope. After seeing the news and watching shows about dystopian futures or lots of awful people, I am desperate for the good of humanity. I need to be reminded that humans can be good and of what’s possible if we choose love.
Heartstopper shows what it can look like when we are able to be unapologetically who we are. If you’ve been following along here in The Garden of Belonging, you will know that being who we are matters deeply to me. Getting to know, love, and trust myself has been key in my ongoing journey and I'm passionate about others being able to do the same. It's beautiful to watch a group of high school kids getting to know, love, and trust themselves. While it is bittersweet for my inner teenager (and let's be honest, part of my adult self), it gives me a hope as a parent that my kids can navigate their teen years with tools I never had as a teen.
As I watch the show, I think - what if I had seen people being brave with themselves growing up? If I had seen that things could work out even when we are brave with ourselves, would I have had the courage to be more of myself? Would I have spent less time trying to be who I thought I needed to be to fit in?
We all struggle in some way to know, love, and trust ourselves because of all of the messages we internalize from the culture surrounding us, messages that tell us what is acceptable and what is not. This struggle is one I face every day and a that set me on this writing journey. It is why The Garden of Belonging exists. I want so much for THIS to be a place where we build courage to be ourselves.
I can’t end without mentioning that representation matters and Heartstopper shines a light on a community and on topics we have pushed to the shadows. While I can't speak for the LGBTQIA2S+ community, you can read some reactions to Heartstopper in this article from Vox.
Every story that brings hope of what's possible, every story that allows us to see ourselves more clearly and feel less alone, every one of these stories deeply matter. They deeply matter to me and I know I’m not alone.
May you have the courage to tell your story in your way on your time and may you find the stories that speak hope, joy and possibility into your life.
I'd love to know:
Have you seen Heartstopper? What did you think of it?
What stories bring you hope for what is possible?
What stories help you feel less alone?
If you like this piece, why not share it with a friend:
Here in The Garden of Belonging I share letters and stories about belonging to ourselves. That is, getting to know, love, and trust ourselves. Want to follow along?
I found you via Alex's weekly favorite reads list and can relate to so much here. I don't watch a lot of tv.v. but I'll look for the show!
I, too, struggle with writing about my own small life when just outside my door lies suffering and loss on such a grand scale. Maybe we're all more connected than we know and wherever we find ourselves, writing about our thoughts and impressions is what matters. Have you ever read Jack Gilbert's A Brief for the Defense? Here's a bit from it:
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
I haven't yet watched Heartstopper, but it's on my list and I know that people are overwhelmingly in love with it. I think any story that shows a marginalized group, or a part of society that is either mistreated or fetishized by mainstream media, in a positive way, and tells stories of their happiness, their possibilities and potential, is deeply important.
I don't know what stories bring me hope, exactly... 🤔 I find myself, in recent years, drawn almost exclusively to cozy stories - cozy crime/mystery, cozy fantasy - but I'm not sure if that is escapism? I just really enjoy a story where the stakes are kinda low and people figure things out and there are solutions to problems. And yes, watching people be good and kind to each other totally gives me hope (think Queer Eye or similar shows).