The Stories We Hold
Stories impact us in so many different ways
There has been a steady influx of new subscribers here lately and I wanted to take a moment to say hello, welcome, and thank you! Writing helps me on its own, but it's all the more fun when there's a community around it to connect with. I love hearing the things that resonate with you and your thoughts on what I share, so please do share in the comments (if you are using the app) or send a reply.
On Story
The idea of story comes up an awful lot for me. Ever since I became interested in fairy tales and myths, I've been all the more curious about what story does in our lives. There are so many ways that stories show up - from the stories we tell each other about times past to the stories we read or watch to entertain ourselves to the stories we hold about who we are. Stories are everywhere and have always been everywhere. Humans, after all, are storytellers.
Stories Entertain
I've always been entertained by stories. I was a voracious reader as a kid and were a big part of my experience growing up. I brought along a few books from my childhood, including The Cat Who Wore a Pot on Her Head, whose mouse are you?, and Gregory the Terrible Eater. I also have my copy of The Dark is Rising, which I see has gotten a rather dramatic cover update, and Can I Get There By Candlelight?, which I've read so many times. Stories have also been a big part of the childhood of my kids. Until somewhat recently we read together before every nap and bedtime. I cannot for the life of me part with the bookshelf full of those books, even though they have both grown beyond them. How can I possibly let go of all of the Otis the tractor books (my first born is named Otis) or A Sick Day for Amos McGee?
I didn't hang on to many of my books from my teen years, but my copy of Fang the Gnome is well-loved after multiple re-readings. Nowadays I tend to read most often on Kindle, so my bookshelf is unseen, but I do enjoy the occasional feel of a physical book in my hand. When I had COVID last year, I pulled The Dovekeepers from a shelf it had been sitting on for who knows how long. I devoured it.
Stories Connect
Stories have also helped me find connection. They help me feel less alone in my own experiences and help me to empathize with the experiences of others. When we share our stories we share our common humanity. When we listen to the stories of others we can see the ways that we aren't so different after all. As Brené Brown says in Braving the Wilderness “People Are Hard to Hate Close Up. Move In.”
Sharing our stories can also facilitate change. Think #metoo. Or read this post from Heather Cox Richardson that speaks to how news coverage of the violence in Birmingham woke up white people and built support for civil rights legislation.
Stories Harm
Stories can also be harmful. We use stories to make meaning about ourselves and other people and sometimes the stories we tell aren't accurate. Stories that say we are fat, people different from us are not fully human, that we can't do things. We can use stories to escape responsibility, devising explanations or lies in attempt to not own up to our part.
My journey to belonging more to myself has been a large effort in re-writing harmful stories. Stories I told myself about being a good girl, doing everything myself, and not being a burden, among others. It has been so freeing to realize that those stories don't have to be true. Same goes for the stories told by our culture. So many people are deconstructing those stories these days and I believe it's necessary to do so if we want a world where we all feel belonging.
Stories Heal
Which leads me to my strong belief that we can use story to heal. We can tell new, more truthful stories. We can take ownership of the narratives we have about ourselves and others and work to re-craft them.
We can look at the stories we've told ourselves since childhood and ask if they are still true. We can see how they were only attempting to make sense of what was happening around us. They had their purpose, but now it's time to let them go.
We can look at the stories we've learned about the people around us and ask if they are true. We can consider that every action and reaction has a story behind it. Perhaps someone is reacting not directly to us but to a story they hold that we have reminded them of. Can we consider what that story might be in order to better understand where someone else is coming from? Can we listen to the stories they are telling us about who they really are?
We can pick up the pen and write new stories. Stories that is a truer depiction of ourselves and others and the kind of world we want to live in.
These are the kind of stories that I hope come through in my poetry and, more recently, my fiction. I (anxiously) look forward to sharing bits of them with you.
Your Turn
What stories have had an impact on your life? Whether you want to share your favorite books or the narratives that have guided you, I'd love to hear.
Some stories to check out:
Reading the transcript of this lecture kind of blew my mind. King makes a pretty convincing argument for how our creation stories have shaped our culture. The 2003 CBC Massey Lectures, "The Truth about Stories: A Native Narrative" | CBC Radio
of The Elysian is using utopia and discourse to explore a better future- is showing us what the past can teach us about the present in her newsletter. is sharing stories about women's journeys with chronic illness - Lady's Illness Library | Inner Workings | Rae Katz | Substack
Ah stories can be magical, they can give pain relief, they can build landscapes in the mind. I spent a lot of time in hospital from the age of until around 11, then spent time in bed til around 14. The books my Nan brought me helped so much. I read most of the children’s library by 10 and Nan brought in fantasy, sci-fi and historical novels. I devoured everything. My childhood was dire and books offered escape. Thank you for reminding me where my love of reading came from. I still escape into books each night while knitting or crochet. Mostly on iPad now but occasionally an old favourite will be lifted down.
My bookclub discussed The Secret Book of Flora Lea last night, and so much of our discussion was about stories. What stories do we remember from our past, how are stories altered over time & space, what does it mean “to get lost” in a story? Stories bend and adapt, they warp, they comfort and they harm. But sometimes, as in the book, they give an ounce of hope, whimsy, and escape from the difficulties of daily life.