We Deserve Better

Reaching for hope when things look dark

Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash

Back in 1997 when I graduated college and started my career, I was a software test engineer. It was my job to ensure our product was working to specification and to be the customer advocate when what was specified was less than friendly. It was also a time when customer experience was still king.

What happened?

Many software companies no longer have test teams and honestly, you can tell. You get shrugs and sorry's at retail stores. The customer is no longer king. All that matters are shareholders and the bottom line. And we are all too busy trying to keep up with the rat race to push back.

It's like a slow death. (See Enshittification)

Meanwhile there are politicians that tell us they are going to make our lives easier when in reality they only care about those who are lining their pockets. Worse, they slowly degrade our care for each other, spurning contempt, hate, and then violence.

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I attended a women's college for undergrad. It was a place where women had power. I did not have to worry about men talking over me in class. I did not worry about being hit on as I wandered campus. Men on campus visiting girlfriends or sisters were decidedly out of place. I was surrounded by intelligent and driven women. I have a lot of nostalgia for those days.

Now I sit here aghast as the violent alpha male is celebrated and women's rights are repealed. I can only hope we are seeing patriarchy's last stand before it falls.

We deserve better. We deserve to have the people who are supposed to be serving us CARE about us. Care about how their decisions affect our lives. Care about our experiences and where we struggling. Care about our access to things that help us thrive.

Whether you give any weight to the Hebrew Bible or the teachings of Jesus, I hope you can agree that love your neighbor is a pretty powerful (and challenging) tenet to center. When we care for each other, we both thrive. When we care for those we serve, we can feel pride in our work. When we see our common humanity with those different than us, we have peace and we may even learn something new.

I find myself wondering how we got here. How can I look around me and be surrounded by so much that seems out of integrity? I am glad that I feel firm in my values. I have no doubt about my ability to determine right from wrong. I am simply flabbergasted by how many people seem to be willing to go along with what to me seems so very wrong.

I'm scared, to be honest. I don't know what the future holds, but I fear it holds more violence. I fear for my kids and especially my daughter. I am honestly grateful that I no longer have a uterus. I fear for my friends and family who are not white cis male heterosexuals. I fear the rise of extremism throughout the world and especially in my own country.

Yet, I am clinging to hope.

Perhaps this is why I have been so drawn into stories lately. I find hope in stories where characters find love in being their full selves. Where family is the community that surrounds and supports you even if they aren't family by blood. Where difference is accepted and, even better, celebrated. If we can imagine worlds where love, kindness, and acceptance matter, we can bring those qualities into our world. This piece from Janisse Ray calls for exactly this.

I recently finished The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna, so I know there are people out there who share my values. Don't forget that we deserve better. And please don't lose hope.

Where are you finding hope these days? I’d love to know.