How my body challenges my self-trust

And how I'm learning to weather the storm

Photo by Kristine Wook on Unsplash

As I mentioned in my last letter, this spring I’m exploring the idea of trust. Trusting myself being an important step along the journey to belonging to myself.

One of the things can get in the way of my self-trust is my body. Chronic illness, aging, and perhaps a little bit of bad luck means I sometimes have to deal with a body that's unreliable. Granted, I am generally very able bodied and not limited in my everyday activities, but some days are hard.

This has been on my mind a lot recently as I deal with an acute health issue. There are moments I feel like my body has let me down. Why, I ask, isn't it doing what it's supposed to be doing? Why is it letting things run amok? It is painful to feel that I can't trust it. At the same time, I know that these bodies are fragile and I should be grateful for the time and health that I do have.

So, yes, gratitude helps. Remembering what I can do softens the challenges for sure. What also helps is leaning into my resilience. I was reminded of this while re-listening to my conversation with Sheila Delaney in my series on self-trust. It's episode 20 of The Garden of Belonging Podcast if you prefer to listen in your fav podcast app. Sheila shared about an autoimmune flare which necessitated stepping down from some of her responsibilities. She then shared about her trust in herself to weather the fallout from that.

My ability to weather the storm is what I'm leaning on. I work to remember my resilience. I remind myself of the other hard things I have made it through. I remind myself of the people I have around me that will be with me through it.

I also lean hard into acceptance. Accepting my experience, knowing this is my path to walk even though it doesn't look like the path of others. Giving myself space to be angry or to grieve if I need it, I believe, is also part of acceptance.

What supports you in situations where your body is unreliable?

If you'd like to explore the topic of self-trust and craft an intention for how you might better lean into it, join me in the next Garden Gathering. More details are below.

Join me to explore self-trust in community. This is a brave space for us to take baby steps towards belonging to ourselves and fully expressing ourselves.

We will listen to:

• Our minds through journaling

• Our hearts through gentle meditation

• Our bodies through breath, music, and optional movement

We will bring it all together with some doodling, optional sharing, and crafting an intention/prayer/blessing to walk away with.

Question of the month:

Where in my life am I struggling to trust and what is getting in the way of doing so?

We will meet on Zoom May 24th at 9:30 am Pacific for 60-75 minutes.

There is no charge for this gathering, it is my gift to us. 

To honor the container and confidentiality, this event will NOT be recorded. You must attend live and arrive on the call within 5 minutes of the start time.